‘The Coin,’ a 69 Word Story

the coin

In class, we had an assignment to write a 69 word story. There really isn’t much of a requirement to meet, other than to hit 69 words exactly. Of course, as a writer, it’s important that a story is conveyed to the reader, but how you do this depends on your style. As for my story, it’s my first attempt at the 69 word form, so I would like some feedback from anyone who reads it.

The Coin

“Not anymore,” Jared thought. He looked down at the coin resting in his palm, tales side up.
“It lied to me last time–I shouldn’t listen to it.”
It was a 1976 quarter, rounded from wear but still had an impeccable shine.
“One more time.”
Jared flipped the coin, and it slipped his fingers and hit the ground, beyond his reach.
“Oh no…nurse! Nurse, hey! Please help me!”

For anyone reading, I encourage you to try your hand at a 69 word story, and post it in the comments section here.  It’s harder than you might think, but once it comes to you, the story can come out pretty quickly.

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